(SCPRANOS THEME PLAYING)
(BUZZER)
Three weeks to Iet me visit?
Be careful. These motherless fucks listen to everything,
A nephew's visiting his uncle who loves him.
I got nothing to say
Yeah, but they didn't
What's this shit |'m hearing about your heart?
This problem you and me had
your mother had nothing to do with it.
-She's dead to me. She's a sick woman
Who are you kidding? lt kills you that people are talking
That an old woman made an ass out of you
Not half so bad as certain rumors floating around about you.
How Tony Soprano fluffs his mother's pillow so she can get her sleep.
-Who said that? \/\/ant to make this nonsense disappear?
lVlake peace with her. No bad blood lt'll be good for all of us.
No fucking way
Tell Bacala to come out of his hole I want to see him tomorrow.
\/\/hat for?
Black men industrialized the North but we still fight forjobs.
That's right!
Gver 25 joint-fitters on this site not a black man to be found.
Tell it, reverend! Why? -l'll tell you why.
Black joint-fitters have been shut out of the unions.
Gut of work while their white joint-fitter. ._
fills his stomach
lVly father put his life on the line for this country.
Come on up here, Papa
Somebody help my papa on up here This is my papa!
Fought in World War ll against tyranny.
But when he came home-- I said when he came home...
_.he had to fight a different kind of war all over again!
Talkto them, Papa! Talk to the people, Papa!
Since then, we have spilled our blood in Korea...
Vietnam and Iraq
Every time, I say, "Sweet Jesus, let them do right when they get back
But somebody forgot to tell the lVIan
You know what I mean! -Tell him, reverend!
0h, yes, I'm gonna tell him!
I'm gonna tell him, no more cutting us out of the dream!
No more!
(CRGWD) No lVIore !
You hear that, l\/Ir. lVIassarone Brothers Construction?
No more!
Somebody tell me what we want! -Jobs!
When do we want it? -Now!
What do we want? -Jobs!
I'm gonna visit "She who can't be named." Want to come?
Grandma? You mean like now?
I'd really like to, but I gotta study my French. Stupid verbs.
What were you doing with that sign?
-I wanted to talk to you about that. I'm selling lVIa's house, understand?
Now put the sign back in the ground!
End of discussion! Period!
You're so left-brained
The house is still for sale. The agent still has a listing
What was the sign doing in your car?
-Don't try to deny it! I'm trying to save a little money
Do you remember Cathy Fiola?
She was in my class with the birthmark.
-What about her? She's in real estate and charges
three percent commission That's half, Tony.
Thousands of dollars. lVIaybe l\/Ia could use it
Yeah? Fuck her!
Next time you disappear, park that piece of shit on the street!
We're out of cran-apple Is plain apple okay?
Gh, sure, doll. Gh, honey?
Could you get me some strawberry ice cream?
They can't expect me to eat this tapioca.
I'II see what I can do
She cracks me up
Well, I can't believe it
It's my daughter from California!
-Seattle, lVIa. Would you like some of my tapioca?
-Good morning. Ch, you reek of cigarettes. Ugh!
Look at you, all dressed, out of bed
Yeah, but you see my hand? It's all black and blue...
where they stuck in the needle -It's how you get better.
You don't care. You weren't here five minutes
I went to the city for a few days I'm pitching my self-help video.
"Lady Kerouac," or, "Packing for the Highway to a Woman's Self-Esteem
You could never stand it here. You could never stand yourself
And that's why you ran away -Let's not go there today, lVIa.
You don't know how your father was! -What do you mean?
Nobody knows! Nobody knows what I went through
What about Daddy?
Cne thing I could tell you. It would kill him to see me now
Here's your ice cream. Then we can take our walk
Leave me alone, please
Cpen the window and just push me out.
-I can't take this anymore. lVIrs. Soprano, what's wrong?
-What happened? She just started crying
You! I know why you're here!
You don't fool me for a second!
You don't know what goes through my mind
-Well, that's for fucking sure! Someday, I hope you have children
and they treat you like this
I gave my life to my children -This is bullshit.
Talk to me
These activists, they're killing me They're picketing my place 24-7.
Three days I'm down
-Who? A hard-on, Reverend Herman James, Jr
'Not enough minorities doing the joint-fitting."
That's under my uncIe's jurisdiction -I know.
But you could talk to him, maybe send some guys down
Like you did, with your unions -It's gonna cost you.
You're already raping me with those no-showjobs.
You're not such a citizen when you want a bid to go your way
Take it easy
I'II see what I can do. In the meantime, call animal control
Watch you don't get followed meeting me.
You're late
Bobby Baccalieri, the last man standing
-I'm not saying nothing. Don't want to get in trouble
A lot of funerals in your corner of the world, huh?
Look at me, not the floor
Tell him I'm gonna let him keep on earning. Subsistence level.
He'II be able to pay his lawyers
Let me say for him, thank you
You're gonna hear some high-end shit And A: I hope you understand it...
...and B: I hope you keep it between this room and Junior
If you don't, they're gonna find pieces of you in different dumpsters
I inherited Junior
You got no reason to talk to me this way. I always liked you.
Bullshit. But we'II assume you do now
Tell my uncle he gets to keep 5% 5% of his shy...
...the sports betting. Same with the coke
The Joint-Fitters Union it's all his, okay?
Listen. This is very important
He also gets to keep his stripes
As far as the feds are concerned they've got the boss in jail.
Hearing different creates confusion
Got it
As far as the rest of everything that Junior owned...
it's now mine
I'II get this to him, Tony
That's it
To the victor belongs the spoils
Get out of here before I shove your quotations book up your fat ass!
l\/Ir. Bompensiero, is your wife here to drive you home?
Skip
Skip?
How we feeling? -Fucking great.
He's gonna be out of it for an hour or so.
It went great. You'II feel the difference in your back in a few days
Buzz me when he feels ready to leave
l\/ly back don't feel one iota different
It'II take a couple of days for the steroids to kick in.
I gotta get in my Jacuzzi
Too much stress in your life, Sal
Tony doesn't know you're back yet? -Jesus Christ, no.
Take advantage of the government's generosity, playing both ends.
He's already suspicious I gotta be careful.
Altieri ate the pill for you
Any suspicions went to the grave with Jimmy Altieri.
I've known Tony 30 years, now this? -Spare me, okay?
You been on our tit since '98
Chauffeur to and from the doctor that we found for you.
We let you back on the street We want results.
He tried to suffocate his own mother
His own uncle wanted him whacked
You said he's been shitting on you for years.
-I know what I said. Plus he's been crying to a shrink
You don't owe him dick
Don't take a bullet for a yuppie who thinks you're his errand boy
Your Honor, this man should not be released for medical reasons.
Every time we get an elder lVIafioso incarcerated. _ _
we get the same bag of tricks -Your Honor.
I take offense at the characterization of my client as a lVIafioso.
l\/Ir. Soprano has not been found guilty of anything.
He's awaiting trial for allegations -Noted.
With all due respect to the state's medical facilities...
...in his condition, l\/Ir. Soprano has every right
l\/Ir. Soprano has a benign illness. A few clogged arteries, Your Honor
I'm leaning towards releasing this man from Iockup.
l\/Ir. Soprano
If I approve this, you will be under house arrest.
You understand this concept?
Not really
It means that you must remain in your residence. You cannot leave
Except for doctor's appointments food shopping.
Your Honor, the government asks for an electronic bracelet.
Your Honor, while we certainly agree to house arrest...
we are asking that l\/Ir. Soprano
He shows no prior arrest since 1968
He pays his taxes and he's a veteran of the Second World War.
l\/Ir. Soprano, do you have any problem with wearing an electronic bracelet?
It sounds like Nazi Germany to me
Cbviously you need a history lesson, sir.
I don't think that we, you and I
should let our shared sorrow or biases...
enter into this, judge
He's wearing a bracelet
(BuzzER)
-Who are you? Jesus, you scared the shit out of me
Jesus ain't got nothing to do with it.
What do you want?
I'm looking for your son Is he around?
You a friend? Is he around?
He'II be back here soon
Well, come on in
You were a good-looking guy backthen.
Still am. Still got the same teeth as in that picture.
Ch, yeah?
Go ahead and laugh. That picture was taken 57 years ago.
-Cld. Come on. How old are you?
-75. Add eight more and you got it
83. Get the fuck out of here!
What do you want with my son? -Gotta discuss a little business.
If you say so
So you're 28 years old when World War II starts
That's a little long in the tooth
In '43 they was taking everyone no matter how old or ugly.
They even took a fat boy I knew He was already 34.
Wasn't no good to nobody except he could cook.
I swear he was more dangerous with that...
stove than he was with that rifle
You ever watch the History Channel?
-Television? No, the History Channel
I think you'd like it. They even do a lot of that Bible shit
Gnly shit in the Bible came out of Pharaoh's ass...
when lVIoses parted the Red Sea
Parted the Red Sea, praise his name
Never underestimate a man's determination to be free.
I'II come back at another time
Break it, you pay for it
He gave me the message
Well, don't fucking pout. Be grateful I'm letting you earn
What's on your mind?
How'd you swing this?
-Dr. Schreck, he's lVIonty's kid. The bookie's son is a cardiologist?
-It's not bad. Feds can't bug your doctor's office
Lets me use this place sometimes
To conduct business
You hear about lVIassarone Construction?
Bacala is taking care of it. They know he speaks for me
It's gotta go 80-40, my way -Did you do what I asked?
What did you ask me to do? -You know, make peace.
Listen, that's enough with that shit That woman is dead to me.
You let it go!
Why? She's my brother's wife. She doesn't realize half the time
I heard the tapes the feds made at Green Grove.
So she's crazy half the time. Which half did you listen to?
Nobody played me. She didn't know she was setting you up to get popped
That's right! Your uncle isn't as dumb as you think!
You and that miserable fuck, Altieri
Now you let sleeping dogs lie, okay?
I have my reasons
I'II tell you one dog you left barking, that fucking Freddie Capuano
The guy who owns Green Grove?
He's like an old lady, going around
.telling Soprano business to anybody who'II listen!
He's the one saying you tried to whack your mother.
Even implied that me and her.. That hairpiece motherfucker!
Did everybody take a vow of silence? Got anything to report?
Isn't that interesting?
I just saw, on Inside Edition
...how there will be no more unknown soldiers because of DNA
-They can identify all casualties. Pass me some more of that macaroni
Tony, I know you don't like to talk about her but...
that woman is impossible
She's a complete narcissist I mean, "me, me, me."
Really, kudos. You are a saint
You talking about Grandma?
She pushes those buttons. She's a big baby, you know?
Tony
This is my house. How many times I gotta say it?
Thank you, II Duce
It's my fault, lVIed
I was insensitive to his feelings
Thank you
You see that? See how easy that was?
As long as it gets sold
I don't give a fuck who lists it
You see what happens with you cursing at the dinner table?
Thanks. It's hard to find people over 25 to drive with.
Don't tell them you drove me to buy pot. Which should be legal
Gnly thing that works for my hands lVIed, wasn't that a stop sign?
He's insecure. He's afraid to leave New Jersey...
and threatened by freedom -It's too pathetic.
How about Grandma in that center?
I'm dying to go see her, but I've had so much homework.
_.plus community service I have to do to get into a good college.
I bring food to homeless shelters
You know Grandma pretty well?
What is she into?
I don't know. Negativity? -But seriously.
There must be something. Isn't there anything she likes doing?
l\/ly dad used to find her these old records, these sisters.
Ch, the De Castro Sisters, right
The Andrew Sisters wouId've been too easy.
He'd take her that lVIario Lasagna guy -I hated that shit.
(CHATTERING )
Your glasses will be ready on Thursday.
( FEMALE ) Ch, Thursday, that's good
Did you see me on TV?
You were on TV? What show? -The evening news.
Ch, yeah, that. What about it?
Well, how'd I look? Be honest
You looked, you know, like you You looked good.
I didn't like the way I looked
lVIaybe I should get new frames what do you think?
What's wrong with them?
How much did those frames cost? -Insurance pays.
I never see the bill -Nice country.
-I got cataracts. l\/ly father told me, "Never get old
I shouId've listened
Yeah
A Chinaman goes to see the eye doctor
Doctor says, "I see the problem Chinaman says, "What?"
Doctor says, "You have a cataract
The Chinaman says, No, I have a Rincoln Continental
You don't get it?
I get it. He drives a Lincoln
What?
Excuse me, where's the men's room?
(PAVARGTTI s|Ne|No)
You're awake
What, what is that? That music.
Non Ti Scordar Di Me, Pavarotti
I remember how much you liked a good tenor.
Remember when we saw lVIario Lanza on TV?
You and me and Daddy on the sofa
...watching Ed Sullivan. We never missed a Sunday
Ch, my God
lVIusic has charms, l\/Ia
Thank God, huh?
(|=>o|=> solve PLAYING)
I think it's time for you to start considering salads.
What do you mean?
What do I mean?
I mean, get off my car before you flip it over, you fat fuck.
Junior wants to know when
Tomorrow morning
We're short a few guys, so make sure you're there
Consider it exercise
Fat fuck?
Look in the mirror sometime you insensitive cocksucker.
Tony, we're sitting down!
lVIa, DNA, it's invisible
but guess how many nucleotides per strand?
Just tell her
-A hundred million. Wow, that's amazing
She knows when we eat
Don't be setting a plate for her if she's not here.
Bless us our Lord, and the gifts we are about to
Hello! Gh
Good. You guys started without me
And bless us our Lord, amen
Janice, if you're gonna be late call. Cr you're not gonna eat.
Don't send me to bed hungry, Daddy
She learned from the best! -Hey, go, girl!
-Congratulations. I was nervous, parallel-parking
the guy had a clipboard and stuff
Ch, wow, fascist martinet
Salsice, Janice? Ch, I forgot, you don't eat pork
in that way
Gh, I get it
There's nothing to get She's a vegetarian.
I miss the fireflies out West
That's why I moved out here
A little bit of nature
Ever drive by Jimi Hendrix's house in Seattle?
we had some really great news about l\/Ia today.
Her therapist says she's making great strides
_.when nothing's wrong with her? It's called Face-Saving Therapy.
lVIedicare's not gonna pay for it if it's not real, would they?
And the taxpayer foots the bill
It's not much longer now. But she's gonna need a place to stay
-Tony, it is her house. Dead people don't have houses
Daddy bought that house
take her back to Green Grove
What? The nursing home?
-"Retirement community." I don't have that kind of money!
Fuck you
What do we want? -Jobs!
When do we want them? -Now!
ShouId've seen that bIimp's face when I told him he had to be here
BacaIa's always been lazy
They're either on drugs and compromised...
or young and don't listen
Please
I hope you don't feel that way about me. It's just this back.
You've done plenty
You paid your dues
Tony Soprano -Yeah.
What the fuck? -Hey, Tony!
This is what I mean
Am I supposed to be seen here? Idiots!
-Shit! Now we look like jerk-offs
What do we want? -Jobs!
When do we want them? -Now!
What do we want? -Jobs!
When do we want them? -Now!
Get out of the way!
When do we want them? -Now!
We want to talk to the foreman
-Talk to the foreskin? You a wise-ass motherfucker
Keep your mother off the streets and I won't fuck her.
(YELLING )
Come on! Come on!
Do not bow down, brothers and sisters!
lVIotherfucker, come on!
(TRUCK HGNKING )
Do not bow down!
Hi, |V|a!
Ch, Nicholas Antonelli
Dead at age 73 of heart failure.
Ma, you're gonna be getting out of here soon.
Home?
Back to the house
My house?
Uh-huh
No, I don't think so. I'II go back to the other place
The nursing home? No, that's for people who don't have anybody.
It's not that bad. And they give you fresh towels every day.
Barbara said you hated it
-But it's too much trouble. No, Ma, you can't go back there
why not? -Because.
Because it's dangerous there
What are you talking about?
The owner
Mr. Capuano. They suspect foul play. Yeah
(couoH|No>
Ma? Ma, you okay?
Nurse! It's my mother
What is it? What's the matter?
Are you okay, Mrs. Soprano? Take a deep breath.
Breathe
Why do they make cookies that way? -You scared me, Ma.
Would you just stop it? Stop it.
Just give me a minute! Go, go, stop hovering!
This may be a good time to talk about this.
There's no emergency provision on file.
I tried to talk about a DNR and she got very agitated.
-DNR? Do Not Resuscitate
It's to save the family anguish and decisions at a difficult time.
when there is no quality of life -Janice!
Where are my glasses? I can't find the tissues!
Janice?
I'm sorry, Tony, but the hospital needs a decision on this.
-Auxiliary B, what the fuck? If you have power of attorney
you have to act like one
Who gives a fuck, DNR, no DNR?
Gkay, great
What if she's in a coma and has to live on tubes and machines...
because you won't sign a DNR?
What? When she's a vegetable she's not gonna care!
To deprive your mother of a place to live.
To deprive me of my chance to make peace with my mother
You know what? Take her You can have her.
The two of you in that house deserve each other. It's worth watching.
It'II be like Whatever Happened to Baby Janice?
I'II give you your DNR!
Mom, I can't find the keys
Keys to what? To the car?
You got a license to drive, not carouse around on a school night
I was going to take Anthony to visit Grandma.
You said we could visit. You can drive if you want
Now you want to visit Grandma?
Can we, Mom?
No funny business. You go to the hospital and back
The level of trust in this family! Check the mileage if you want. God!
Go ahead, I'II be back later
Where are you going? -Hunter's upstairs.
That's not fair
I'm just gonna say hello -I'm telling.
And I was gonna let you drive in the IBM parking lot this Sunday
(CHEERING GN TV)
Look who's here!
Anthony, come over here! Give your Grandma a kiss
She comes over every day to play pinochle with me.
Daughters take better care of their mothers, that's why
You didn't ride over here on your bicycle in the dark?
No, Meadow drove me
-I don't know. She's another one
They don't care about you, Johnny
No, they stick you away and forget you ever existed
Iguess
Ch, have a torrone
I don't like those Italian candies -Ch, go ahead. Take one.
He's not even washing his hands
( man on tv) You know, Louisiana food isn 't really spicy, it's well-seasoned.
Don 't they season everything?
Absolutely. So, what we're gonna do is, I got a little cayenne pepper.
-Who? DNR, it's initials. Like
I did a report on DNA
...but Dad and Aunt Parvati was talking about your DNR
Aunt? You mean Janice? Janice?
They were talking about me? -About your DNR.
Cause that's what's confusing. Like, DNA, everybody's got that
She thinks I should have a DNR?
Gr that Dad should give it to you
Because, what if you went into a coma?
I don't know. I gotta do this report by Monday
Very good, Livia. That's perfect
I know my alphabet
Guess what, Ma? I got great news.
Tony's not gonna sell the house
When you're released, we're gonna take you back home
Really? -Yeah.
I'm gonna live with you
Why?
So you can "not resuscitate" me?
So I can what?
I've seen that movie with Richard Widmark
-Movie, Ma? Ch, Mrs. Soprano
No, take this one
She gets her ballet shoes
she sells them and takes the money to Newark...
and she buys amphetamines
She was a child then
I think you should live with your daughter, Mrs. Soprano
I think I'm gonna leave all my money to you, honey
What are you talking about, money?
I've gotta catch up on some charts
Janice
what did I tell you last week?
You know this is very important I must have put it somewhere.
You don't fool me. I know what you're thinking about
My name's Janice
Janice, Ma. You named me
It's something else you threw away of mine
Are you sure
.I didn't say where I put that money?
Let's not worry about that
Let's just get you better
...so you can go home and I can take good care of you
We'|| find it
(Hu|v||v||No)
Your sister's cunt!
-That was wonderful, reverend. You call us if you need anything
Thank you
What's all this?
My father has passed away
I wasjust talking to him
He lived well. God blessed him with longevity
What are you gonna do? We all will have our time.
My father didn't know about our business arrangement.
He wouIdn't have approved -I got that feeling.
-And your parents? Pop's been gone for years
Mom?
She's still around. She's too miserable to die
That generation's almost all gone
When the last one goes, we become the old folks at the family functions.
What are you saying? We're still kids.
Don't you believe it, Tony
When the last one dies, it signals the start of the last stretch for us.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to go anytime soon, it's just ....
Just feels funny now, being
an elder
Your end of the demonstration bust-up
Massarone gave me five no-shows
Two and a half each -Three-two.
It should be 3-2, my way. I gotta kick upstairs to Uncle Junior
-Two and a half each. All your guys are in on this shit
People find out I'm making money on their blood, it's my ass.
Hell, no. Three-two -I'II think about it.
What about the asbestos removal project at the school?
Just waiting to see who gets the bid
/-\|| right
Hey, rev
Sorry about your old man
(PHoNE)
Hello?
He did? Where is he now?
(|=>HoNE RINGING)
Hello?
-Ch, you're home! How dare you call here
I called now on purpose
I know Johnny's at work
Anthony," your son, Anthony
He harbors resentment
I'm hanging up
I just want you to know.
...what pennies I have I leave to the children.
Your children and Barbara's children
I raised three children of my own
I did a pretty good-- pretty good job on two
Be veiy careful.
She's a real snake in the grass
She has no work ethic
Why is that?
If anything happens to me
Hello? Hello?
(KNGCKING )
Where is he? Did you call an ambulance?
I don't need no fucking ambulance - (Bacala) See?
Yeah, sure. Look at you
We're going to the emergency room -Fuck that. I'm all right.
Why not go down there and make sure?
Uncle Jun?
Hey, you still here?
I'II drive you. Bacala will come
Yeah, sure -we'|| an go
Help me up
Can you walk?
Hold on a minute
I'II be okay. Give me a minute to catch my breath
/-\|| right
What are you doing?
What do you want, a piggyback?
Get the door
Anthony!
Don't let me go to my grave with this guilt.
Make things right with your mother Please.